Castlevania: Search for the Sunglasses
by V. Parrot Face
Summary: A legendary search for the Cool Looking Sunglasses and other legendary items of note.
1. Richter Moves Quick

CASTLEVANIA

CASTLEVANIA

SEARCH FOR THE COOL LOOKING SUNGLASSES

Chapter 1: Richter Moves Quick

Richter stood still while waiting for the loading screen to stop. He got ready to run.

_All right, _Richter thought, _I've got one minute to dash up these stairs, grab the hearts, snag the holy water, and kill the Prince of Darkness without getting hurt at all, or Alucard won't get the stat boos_- suddenly the loading screen stopped. Richter looked up and tapped forward twice just as it said in his Ultimate Castlevania: SFTCLS walkthrough guide. And then Richter fell on his face. _Oh-No!_ Richter was losing precious extra stats for Alucard! Richter jumped up and dashed as fast as he could up the stairs and right into Dracula's room, without even stopping to get the hearts. Richter quickly skipped the dialog with Dracula and grabbed the Holy Water while Dracula was throwing down his magical wine glass of teleportation. Richter remembered that if he timed his "Hydro Storm" exactly right, Dracula's first form would be instantly destroyed. Now if only he could remember what the exact timing was…_Oh-No! _(Again) He had already missed it! Well, all he could do was use Hydro Storm anyway and hope he had enough hearts left for another use.

"HYDRO STORM!!!" 

Rain rained down and hurt Dracula a little. Unfortunately, he then teleported and so escaped the main force of the attack. Dracula re-appeared, said something that sounded like "Ho-Ho-Ho" and then fired three fireballs at Richter. Richter knew from the walkthrough that the fireballs could be destroyed and Dracula hurt by a simple spin of the whip. Somehow though, the whip spin missed the bottom most fireball, leaving it free to hit Richter. It did impact, and Richter flew back some 10 feet. Richter quickly got up and yelled…

"HYDRO STORM!!!"

This time Dracula was caught by the full blast. His form began blurring and the Prince of Darkness said some thing that sounded like:

"Playtime's over! wLET wME GlOOOOw!!!!!!!"

Dracula then mutated into a giant bat monster thing. Richter was about to use Hydro Storm, but then realized that he was out of hearts. Richter sighed, put a clothespin on his nose, and ducked between the monster's legs and began hitting Dracula's legs repeatedly.

Eventually, Dracula burst into flames screaming:

"NO!!! THIS CANNOT BE!!! AGHHHhhhhhhhh…

As the storyline played, Richter checked his timer. 15 minutes?!?! Alucard would kill him for this! Richter realized that the only way to avoid Alucard would be to trick Alucard into thinking he was being controlled by Shaft…

_Next Time:__ Alucard, Death, and the Deadly Blood Skeleton of Intense Terror_

__

_ _


	2. Alucard, Death, and the Deadly Blood Ske...

CASTLEVANIA

CASTLEVANIA 

** **

**SERCH FOR THE COOL LOOKING SUNGLASSES**

** **

** **

Chapter 2: Alucard, Death, and the Deadly Blood Skeleton of Intense Terror

Alucard ran swiftly through the forest, so fast that he was actually a few steps in front of his image. Alucard was chasing down Richter, because Richter had taken 15 minutes to beat Dracula, denying Alucard the stat boost. Alucard jumped approximately 5 feet in the air to get on the raising drawbridge and rushed through the rapidly closing door. _All right,_ thought Alucard, _now I just have to find Ritchie._ Alucard walked into the castle and calmly killed a giant wolf that looked as if it hadn't been fed in a looooong time. Alucard ran along the corridor, ignoring the mysterious opening and closing of the windows. Suddenly, zombies began rising from the floor. Dracula _really _needed a janitor to clean these floors. Alucard entered a new room, which for some reason had a rock formation in the center. Alucard hated rock formations! After killing several innocent bats, Alucard jumped down and began viciously assaulting the boulder. To his surprise, the boulder cracked, and out came a Pot Roast. Now who would hide a _pot roast_ in a boulder?!? Alucard thought about it for a minute, and then came to a conclusion. The same person who hid valentines in candles, capes in orbs, and long swords in pottery, of course! Alucard walked through some more rooms containing hungry wolves and dirty floors. Alucard soon came to an outside area where stood- er… _floated_ the Grim Reaper.

Also known as Death, The D00D wid' a Scythe, and Bob Saggot. Death said:

"Yo Al, joo still chums wid' fleshies, huh? I ain't gonna ask joo to get yo ass back on our side, but joo gots ta stop yo attack."

"I will not."

"K. Now im gonna take all yo's kewl stuff kuz yo killed the Drac's pet bats."

**Death takes Alucard's stuff**

"WHAT?!?" says Alucard, but Death has already disappeared. Alucard shrugged and walked on into the next room. He climbed up some platforms and then jumped over a hole in the bridge. There Alucard found a skeleton with a sword and beat it into a bony pulp. He picked up the short sword, jumped up and thrashed the red skeleton. Alucard didn't bother to pick up Red Rust, because it was the 2nd worst sword. Alucard made sure to get his rest in the nearby coffin.

Alucard woke and collected the Cube of Zoë, which would allow Alucard to collect valentine cards from candles. Alucard then moved through the colored door and into the dreaded Alchemy Laboratory. Alucard killed another sword skeleton, and a bone-throwing skeleton. Alucard jumped up to a platform. There he saw, to his horror, the Deadly Blood Skeleton of Intense Terror. Alucard jumped up to it and began thrashing it vigorously. To Alucard's surprise the skeleton fell to pieces. That was easy! Suddenly the skeleton rose again. Alucard froze the skeleton was invincible! Alucard ran back down and got the Hiding Cuirass. He jumped over the Deadly Blood Skeleton of Intense Terror and into the next room…


	3. Boss, Dude!!!

CASTLEVANIA

CASTLEVANIA

Search For the Cool-Looking Sunglasses

Chapter 3: Boss, Dude!!!

Alucard took out his Castlevania: SFCLS handbook and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for: SECTION 3: DEFEAT SLOGRA AND GAIBION. "Ok," murmured Alucard "lets see how to kill these dudes." While Alucard was looking in his book, a skeletal bird thing named Slogra was stabbing the air stupidly across the screen from Alucard. A flying bat-demon-evil-monster-lizard-thing-of-doom named Gaibion was flying above Alucard and shooting fireballs with machine-gun rapidity ineffectually against Alucard's shield. Meanwhile, Alucard had found the BOSSES section of the manual. Under a fuzzy bitmap picture of Gaibion carrying Slogra, the manual had one sentence: "Use soul steal until they die." Alucard stared and said "Hmmm… twenty bucks doesn't buy what it used to. Oh well, let's skip to the SPELLS section." Alucard did, and the entry under SOUL STEAL said: B BD D FD F B+O. "Let's do this!" exclaimed Alucard. In the next few moments, Alucard looked as if he was trying to disco to rap music, or that he was suffering from epilepsy. After five minutes or so, a tiny white light appeared, instantly killed both Slogra and Gaibion, and then disappeared. Alucard dropped to the floor, exhausted, as a pulsating rainbow thing fell on his head, cracked open, and miraculously, did negative damage. Alucard ran out of the room muttering "It's a screwed up world. It's true, it's true."

NEXT TIME: Floating Eye Gallery


End file.
